Same Place, Different World

While in Spain however, I had a lot of alone time. I walked an hour to work every day and got in touch with my spiritual side. I read my bible and prayed every morning. I also began to keep a journal. I wanted to continue myself growth so I decided to have a morning routine. I would wake up make tea and do yoga. It was very enjoyable. As I began to connect to myself more I thirsted for answers on how to become successful. I started waking up and researching how to be successful. The people who inspired me the most was Les Brown, Eric Thomson and Tony Robinson. I added a motivational video to my morning routine and that's how I started every morning.

After I realized how insecure I was in Spain, I wanted to share beauty to the world. For most of my younger years I always compared myself to the person next to me, hating what I saw in the mirror. My goal every day was to give ten people compliments and focus on what I loved about them instead of what I disliked. I believe that by making others feel good you feel better. The problem was I didn't know how depressed I actually was. There we're so many memories of my ex that haunted me. I began to exercise and drink a lot more than usual. I told myself and everyone around me that I was fine but I really wasn't.

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Every weekend I wanted to go out and meet a new guy. Rejection had left me desperate for attention and meeting a new guy every weekend gave me this exhilarating high. I found it fun to flirt and then reject the guys. I supposed it filled my ego. Then he walked in and totally changed the game. I was sitting in a small study lounge and he came in and asked if he could sit down. He had the cutest face and baby blue eyes. I was taken back by his confidence because just next door was a larger study room that was completely empty. We talked for a while and many other guys stopped by to talk for a few. He repeatedly said "you know everyone huh?". He just happened to be a transfer student and didn't know many people yet. I thought he was so funny and I want to be friends with him. He got up to leave with out asking me for my number which surprised me. So, I quickly asked him for his before he left. During that day I had no idea that boy would have impacted my life as much as he did.

The weeks past and we would do homework together, often. Our friendship really began to grow. I was so happy to have found a person who I genuinely like and had a great time with. I was getting ready to go out one night and he sat on my bed. He got tired of watching me get ready so he got up to leave. Only to quickly return and say his roommate locked him out. I felt like that was a lie but I said okay and headed to my room. As I passed him he quickly grabbed me and gave me the most passionate kiss I've ever had. He pulls away and says did you really think I only wanted to be your friend? Excitement and fear rushed into my body. I instantly became extremely confused. For some reason at the very moment he said that my ex crossed my mind.

One night I went out and I meet this beautiful sweet girl. She was extremely friendly and we hit it off from the start. Ironically, a month after hanging out with her, her roommate wanted to move out, after only living there for a couple of months. I jumped at the opportunity knowing the dorm life wasn't for me. I waited until the first semester was over and December 12th I moved in to my first apartment.

I became involved in many things at my school. I worked for a TV studio making Youtube videos, I became the schools sport sideline reporter and I was also the campus bus driver. Staying busy kept my mind off things. My life seemed to be improving and I felt myself to begin to be happy again. I definitely thought moving into my apartment would increase my happiness but living in the "real world" had a lot of difficulties I wasn't quite ready for. So,during those six months I faced some of the hardest challenges in my life.

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Posted in Cleaning Services Post Date 11/18/2019